gone

Another man gone didnt die exactly but hes gone. the men are dwindeling down to nothing it feels like and i am wondering when i will be the next to go? i cant believe how it happened to rat. one day he started complaining about the bugs here at nam... at first it didnt seem not normal but then it got worse. he would talk about the bugs crawling inside him and muscrats eating his bones. he was going crazy and couldnt be here any longer. so one morning he took off his shoes and socks and just shot a round through his foot. i totally understand the guy. and i will vouch to say it was an accident. he couldnt bear the thought of being killed in nam and being left here and eaten by all the bugs. they took him away on a helicopter and hes happy now. who wouldnt be happy leaving this place. the haul is getting long now... i dunno how much longer ill stay mentally stable. but i have to take care of my men the best i can so iv gotta stay sain. this war is brutal though. theres too much death. the sight of death is everywhere the smell even. how much longer will i have to fight? how much longer do i have to live?